


we've got some work to do now

by psychomachia



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychomachia/pseuds/psychomachia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The newly remodeled Freddy Fazbear's Pizza has some spooky things happening at it! Can the gang solve the mystery before someone winds up dead?</p><p>Probably not.</p><p>Definitely not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we've got some work to do now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wonderminterplus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderminterplus/gifts).



**4 pm**

"You have to understand, Mr. Jones." The man leaned forward. "This isn't something I would normally do." He mopped his forehead with a handkerchief.

"Please, call me Fred." He smiled. "I think we're all friends here." Beside him, three heads bobbed encouragingly.

"Well, I, I," he stammered and then collected himself. "My name is Charles and I recently bought this pizzeria and I've been having... issues.”

“Issues?”

“You see, when I bought the place from Mr. Fazakas, I decided to completely remodel it, due to its unsavory reputation.”

“Such as missing children, mangled faces, and a dead security guard or two?” Fred smiled politely. “Its reputation does go far.”

“Well, yes. But I thought if I could change the name, renovate the building, totally rebrand it---”

“You might be able to make people forget about the whole murder thing?”

“Well, when you put it that way, you make it sound so horrible.”

Fred patted the man's very moist hand as Charles got out another handkerchief. “I think my friends and I know a thing or two about having a hard time starting over. Sometimes all people see is what you used to be.”

“And we were doing so well,” he said, a tear in the corner of his eye. “We were just about to have our grand opening, we had reservations lined up down the block, and parents were finally coming around to us. And then, the incidents happened.”

“What incidents?”

“We had just hired some new security guards to watch the building overnight. We didn't want any teenage hooligans sneaking in to vandalize the place. Well, three nights ago, we closed the building up as usual, left two security guards in the watch room, and made plans to check in in the morning.”

“Don't tell me they ended up dead?”

“No, thank God. But they did run out screaming claiming that a duck and a rabbit were out to kill them and that we needed to shut the place down. On the plus side, they did quit without advance notice, so we don't have to pay them any severance.”

“And the other incidents?”

“Two nights ago, the same thing happened again. We left a new security guard in the building and made sure he hadn't heard about the first incident. Figured maybe if we just had one, less chance of him feeding into someone else's paranoia. Well, the same thing happened in the morning. Guard screams about a demonic fox, quits, tells us to burn the place down and salt the earth.”

“A bit extreme,” Fred nodded. “But I suppose I can appreciate the sentiment. And I'm guessing it happened again last night?”

Charles winced. “Except that the security guard did die this time.”

“Horribly mangled beyond belief?”

“Oh, no, thankfully just a heart attack and he waited until he got home to do it. But it's still linked to us and we don't need the bad publicity. That's why I called you guys in. Despite my reservations about you, you do come highly recommended by my old friend, Billy Bob.”

“How's he doing?”

“Well, I did take over almost all his restaurants so he's a little angry at me, but he did say you were the best team for the job.”

Fred smiled. “That we are, Charles. That we are. Now my team is prepared to investigate tonight.”

“Already?”

“We found it's best to get in before people know we're involved. The less anyone else knows, the better. Especially if it's an inside job.”

“You think it might be?”

 “It could be. We can't take any chances. Now do you have a security guard on duty for the evening already?”

“Well, “Charles hemmed. “Most of the other security guards we had already quit. Rumors get around. But we did have one person who said he didn't really have an issue with homicidal creatures out to kill him.” He passed over the file to Fred, who took it and flipped through it. “We can tell him to take the night off if you're going to be on the scene, however.”

“Mr. Schmidt? Is it?” Fred said, closing the folder. “Well, normally we don't like having outsiders there. But he looks like a reliable guy, so it won't hurt having someone to show us around.” He reached out his hand to Charles, who gingerly took it. “I think you can rest assured that by the end of this night, we'll solve this case.”

“Really?” Charles said, gripping the hand tightly. “I assure you I'll pay you whatever you want.” He dropped his hand. “Within reason.”

“Don't worry. We're doing this to help out the children, not because we expect a big payday. I'm sure it'll be quite reasonable for you.” Fred smiled again. “If you don't mind, I think my team and I are going to get prepared and come by the pizzeria around 11 p.m. I'm assuming the incidents didn't occur until the early morning.”

“From what gibbering I could make sense of, the earliest it started was 1 a.m. or so. “

“Perfect. Then have Mr. Schmidt meet us there at closing and you get a good night's sleep.” Fred made his way to the door. “And don't worry about a thing. We're not afraid of monsters.”

\----------------

some nebulous time after **11 pm**

“Really? Mr. Jones?” Bonnie leaned casually against the Mangling Machine. “Isn't that a little... generic? Maybe I should be Bonnie Smith.”

“Please,” said Chica, rolling her eyes. “You'd love it. You'd be one step closer to your boyfriend. I know I heard you squeal when we found out Mike would be back.”

“Shut up,” Bonnie said, blushing as much as an animatronic mascot brought to life by dubious means could do. “He is not my boyfriend. I just want to only ever stalk and get inappropriately close to him.”

“Don't we all,” said a voice from inside the van. The door slid open, and Foxy stumbled out, yawning. “I can't believe you guys are already awake.”

“Some of us believe in planning, Foxy,” Freddy said, frowning at him. “I don't just improvise my way through life.”

“Well, some of us believe that maybe being quick on our feet is what got us this far.” Foxy slammed the van door shut. “Anyhow, it'll be good to see Mike again. Man, remember that time when we totally almost got him.”

Bonnie smiled dreamily. “He would look so good in a suit.”

“Well, we've learned our lesson now,” Freddy said sternly. “Some of us were born with skin and some weren't. And while most sweet, innocent children grow up to be horrible skinless adults that deserve everything they get--”

“I hate to break up this stirring speech,” Chica interrupted, “but I think Mike just showed up.” She pointed over to where a dented brown car was pulling into a parking space.  They watched as he got out of the car, and looked over in their direction.

It was hard to make out his expression at that distance. Was it dismay? Terror? Boredom? At this distance, it couldn't be seen, but the fact that he hadn't immediately jumped back in the car, locked both doors, and peeled away at 80 miles per hour was probably a good sign.

A better sign was that Mike actually went up to meet him.

“Well,” he said. “We meet again.”

Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy looked at Freddy, who then looked at Mike. “Yes,” he said. “It seems we do.”

“So, you got out somehow.”

“Yes.”

“And you're talking.”

“Obviously.”

“And instead of immediately attacking me and trying to stuff me into a suit before the sun comes up, you're.... solving mysteries?” Mike looked genuinely puzzled at that.

Freddy sighed. “Would you like the long and complicated explanation for that involving the letting of seven different blood types, a three-quarters full moon, and exactly 301 prize tickets to only be won playing skeeball?”

Mike scratched his head. “That depends. Are you planning on murdering me tonight?”

“To be fair,” Foxy drawled, “we weren't really trying to kill you as much as put your skin back on.”

“But we learned our lesson,” Chica added. “We're not going to try to cram you into a spare skin suit.”

“Unless you want to wear one.” Bonnie chimed in. “You can if you want to. We totally won't criticize whatever you pick out.”

Mike looked slightly disturbed (or excited? -- again, human faces were so hard to read), but he only said, “That's okay. I think I prefer it this way.”

“Well, we're no longer judging your lifestyle decisions,” Freddy said. “So yes, I believe we can all refrain from unnecessary bloodshed tonight.”

Mike checked his watch. “Well, since it's going to be midnight soon and I'm moderately reassured by that statement, I guess we better take a quick look to see if anything's really changed in this place.”

“Necessary bloodshed, on the other hand--” Foxy began.

Chica elbowed him. “Really need to shut up right now.”

\----------------

**12 am**

After a fairly fast tour through the place and some wistful sighs from Bonnie and Foxy upon seeing the hallways, three things were determined:

  1. The remodeling wasn't that extensive (or expensive);
  2. The stench of blood and death is a lot easier to get out than that of decades worth of grease.
  3. And most importantly, there were no other animatronics (apparently) on the scene;



They ended in the office, which had the same amount of clutter that the previous one had (albeit with slightly different posters of mascots that stared into your soul). And like the building they were in, the cameras seemed to be spared from any sort of obvious improvement and retained their nostalgic, battery-draining charm.

“I guess this is where I would usually start watching you guys, so this might be a good place for us to hang out until something happens.”

Freddy looked thoughtful. “I've never really watched it from your end.”

“It's pretty exciting where we are,” Bonnie said, gripping Mike's arm. “So I can only imagine how thrilling it is on your end.”

Chica shrugged. “It's as good a place as any.”

Ten minutes went by.

Nothing on the cameras.

Twenty minutes.

Thirty minutes.

Still nothing.

At around 12:55 a.m., Foxy drummed his fingers on the table. “Okay, seriously, this is boring. I mean, I like to relax as much as the next guy, but I'm going to fall back asleep if something doesn't happen.”

“Welcome to my world,” Mike said. “I mean, yeah, the later nights were pretty nerve-wracking, but I gotta say, the first night on the job was kind of quiet.”

“Yeah, we kind of eased you into that one,” Chica said. “I mean, Freddy was there doing his criminal mindreading evil genius thing and Foxy was just being a lazy ass--”

“Screw you too, Chica. We all know you were just out there to stuff your face--”

“I'll stuff your--”

After a brief scuffle that ended with Freddy hitting both of them in the head, Mike turned to Bonnie and asked, “So why did you go out there?”

“Oh, that's easy,” Bonnie said. “I was there to check out your--”

“Hey, is that your evil twin down there, Bonnie?” Foxy mercifully interrupted.

The group turned to look at the camera feed. In what used to be the backstage area, now seemingly used as a general trash area, a giant purple bunny was staring up at the camera.

“Son of a---”

\----------------

**1 am** (give or take)

“Okay, clearly that isn't me, because I'm here and it's there.” Bonnie looked panicked, back and forth, as Freddy studied the camera intently.

“Unless you can appear in two places at once.” Chica frowned suspiciously. “You can't, can you?”

“You know only---,” Bonnie trailed off.

“What?” Mike asked suspiciously, looking over Foxy, who just shrugged and went back to looking at the screen. The rabbit had disappeared from the screen.

Bonnie stared at Chica, who then shook her head. “Nothing.”

“In any case,” Freddy said, “we need to check it out.”

“So are we all going to go down there?” Foxy asked. “Because I gotta say--”

“No, I don't think that's a good idea. We need to keep an eye up here as well.” Freddy looked at the screens again, his eyes flicking back and forth between them.

“Let me guess,” Chica said. “Bonnie and I will go out, while you and Foxy stay here.”

“It's like you're a mindreader or something,” Foxy said, grinning. “On the bright side, think what sort of fond memories will come up out there.”

Chica snorted. “Yeah, fond memories, my ass.”

“Hey, can Mike come?” Bonnie asked. “I think it might be valuable to get a different perspective on this if he's there too.

“Sure,” said Foxy. “Invite your--”

It was around the fifth minute of the headlock when Foxy's wheezing became more pronounced and Bonnie's arm started to tire that Freddy looked away from the camera and said, “What are you waiting for?”

“So, he can--”

“I don't see why not. It might be useful if you have to split up to have another face to cover more ground. Just make sure to keep your eyes open. And Bonnie--”

“Yes?”

“Make sure we always know it's you. Or I don't know what might happen.” He stared levelly at Bonnie, who met his eyes and swallowed deeply.

“Right.”

\------

The clock said 1:42 as they made their way to the backstage area. There were papers littered on the floor, some broken pieces of metal, and a tangle of wires, but the area seemed to be clear.

“Wow,” said Mike. “I've never been on this side of the camera before. It's a little creepy to know someone's watching my every move.”

“Now you know how we feel,” Chica said. “Seriously, it gets old real fast.”

“You're the only one who cares,” Bonnie said. “Freddy doesn't really mind. Foxy likes it. And if it's Mike watching--”

“Freddy has some sort of ninja power that lets him avoid cameras. Foxy is a textbook narcissist with delusional fantasies of being a pirate, Bonnie. And let's not even get into what you've imagined about Mike--”

“I'm still here,” Mike shifted, deliberately avoiding eye contact as he looked everywhere but at them.

“Relax, Mike,” Bonnie said warmly. “I learned about establishing boundaries before you try anything. I hear there's a thing called a safe word.”

The silence went on for several uncomfortable minutes before they heard several sounds of metal clattering in the distance.

Chica whispered. “I think it's in the kitchen.”

And then they saw a flash of purple disappear behind them.

\--------------

**2 am**

In the camera room, Freddy and Foxy watched as Chica's clone banged around in the kitchen.

“So, this is interesting,” Foxy said. “I'm beginning to feel replaced. And to think I thought a handsome devil like me--”

“Yes, we all know about your high self-esteem. I'm more concerned that we weren't briefed that there would be more than one,” Freddy said. “This definitely changes my strategy.”

“Right, your strategy. So does that mean you'll actually do something before the night ends, or are you going to wait a couple of days while we do all the work?”

Freddy glared. “There's a reason we've had so much success over the years. There have only been two we lost to and one of them stopped being an issue long ago.”

“And the other one's Mike.”

“Yes.” Freddy's eyes softened. “Well, Mike's the exception, isn't he...?”

“I'm just saying, we just got him back. I assume you have a plan for when the night's up.” Foxy smiled.

Freddy smiled back. “Oh, I'm working on something.” He turned back to the camera. “In the meantime, you should probably go out there and lend a hand.”

“I live to please, Fearless Leader.”

\-----

“'Let's split up,' he said.”

“'You can always go on your own,' he said.”

Chica carefully made her way to the kitchen, stopping outside the door.

“We can cover more ground,” she whispered. “Great. I always wanted to fight myself.”

She entered the doorway. “So I hear you're a duck.”

The figure turned around and bared its teeth. It held a carving knife in its hand and a pot in the other.

Chica smiled. “Well, I am hungry.”

\-------

In the backstage area, Mike warily watched as the purple bunny approached him. In one hand, it had a hammer, which it swung back and forth.

“You know, you always wonder what you look like when you're the last sight someone sees,” Bonnie said quietly in Mike's ear. “And I have to say that if this is it, I am not impressed.”

He whispered back. “Well, you scared the crap out of me a few times.”

“You say the nicest things.” Bonnie smiled at him, and then turned to look at the rabbit, which had stopped, gripping the hammer high in its hand.

“You know, this might be terrifying if I was a child, cowering in the corner, wanting to see my parents one last time and asking you to please stop what you're doing.”

Bonnie paused and grinned, teeth gleaming in the darkness.

“But I'm not. And you have no idea what you're dealing with.”

\---------

Freddy smiled at the camera, watching Foxy make his way down the hallway. As he watched, another fox popped its head out of the purple curtain and looked up at the camera.

“There you are.”

\----------------

**3 am**

Chica wiped the blood off her face and stepped over the mangled corpse on the floor.

“Really,” she said. “That wasn't even a challenge. I mean, I would have least like to have worked up an appetite.”

She bent down and peered at it. “I don't even think you're a proper me. I'd really love to just leave you here and hang out in the kitchen. For old times' sake.”

“Don't tell anyone,” she said, lowly in the remains of an ear, “but I did kind of miss this place. Not the constant watching and never getting the rest... and the pain.”

“I don't miss the pain.”

She straightened up, hoisting the body over her shoulder. The blood made it slick and she had to adjust a few times to keep a good grip on it.

“But I do miss the free food.”

\---------

Mike waited until the thrashing had subsided and Bonnie had spat out an entrail before he said, “That's something that's probably going to me nightmares for a month.”

“Only a month?” Bonnie asked. “I had hoped you'd dream of me longer.”

“Don't get me wrong. I mean, that was horrific and gruesome and if I was anyone else, I'm sure I would go completely insane from the sheer carnage.”

“But you're not anyone else.”

“Right. And that's probably what gives me the most nightmares. The fact that when I saw you guys, the first thing I thought was not, “oh crap,” or “not again,” or even “they seriously don't pay me enough for this shit,” but 'hey, I know those guys.'” Mike reached out his hand and helped Bonnie up, carefully stepping over an unattached leg.

“That was it?”

“Well, also, there might have been a bit of 'seriously, how did anyone give them a driver's license.'”

“Who said we had one? Foxy says as long as he's going fast, it doesn't really matter.”

“Okay, now that? That's sheer nightmare fuel.”

\---------

“Well, this is just sad,” said Foxy as his double circled around him, holding a machete in each hand. “I mean, I had bad days when I thought I might never become the perfect killing machine I am now.”

The double lunged and Foxy nimbly dodged. “But I never had to use outside weapons. I started out with just my teeth and that was all I needed.”

He opened his mouth, rows of teeth like sharp little knives. “Sure, I mean it helped to be the fastest one out there, and I'll tell you, they stop teasing you about being lazy when you can make it down a hallway faster than they can make it off a stage.”

Foxy sighed, shaking his head. “Now look at you. You're clumsy and slow and a discredit to the Foxy name. It might have been nice having two of me around. But you...”

The double lurched forward again. In the silence, faint wheezing noises could be heard coming from it.

“I promise I'll make it quick,” Foxy said.

\---------

“Come on,” Freddy said. “It's time for you to appear.”

He whirled around, looking at every corner of the room, everywhere. He listened for the slightest noise.

He looked at every camera feed, scrutinizing it for any movement, any sign. He saw Chica making her way back, dragging a corpse down the right hall. He saw Bonnie carrying another one down the left hall, Mike trailing behind her. He saw Foxy, ripping into his double's throat, spewing blood in the air.

But Freddy?

He was alone.

\----------------

**4 am** (well, really closer to 4:40)

The doors banged open at the same time.

“I am deeply disappointed in the quality of today's mascots,” Bonnie said, dropping the body to a ground with a thud. “In my day, we would have lasted longer than a few minutes.

“I have to agree with you on this one,” Chica said, tossing down the other corpse. “It's really shameful that they lack the dedication and discipline we had. When we set our mind to it, we got things done.”

“You know I hate to concur with any psychopathic killers,” Mike mused, “but it did seem awfully simple for all that build-up. I mean, you guys got progressively worse until I figured out how to hack your AI.”

Bonnie patted his cheek, leaving a blood smear running down it. “And even then, you didn't take the easy way out. Nope, we were murderous, unstoppable fiends that you barely survived.”

“It was good practice,” Chica agreed. “That's why this is so dissatisfying. I mean, is the answer really someone made poorly constructed copies of ourselves and sent them after us?”

The three fell silent as they noticed Freddy staring off into space. “Freddy,” Chica asked, “is everything all right?”

Bonnie exchange worried looks with Mike. He cleared his throat. “I know we still have a few hours to go, but I think we're close to wrapping up this case.”

“He's right,” Bonnie said. “All we have to do is figure out who they really are and who sent them--”

“I know who sent them,” Freddy said, turning to look at them. His eyes were cold and hard. “I know exactly who he is.”

The door banged open again and Mike jumped.

“Yeah, so this asshole wasn't even a challenge, “ Foxy said, dragging the corpse through the door. “The hardest part was lifting him.” He kicked the body a few times, and then realized everyone was silent. “Did I miss something?”

“Freddy just said he knows who's behind the incidents,” Chica leaned against the wall. “And I'm betting it has something to do with the fact that we haven't seen any of his happy evil twins around.”

“Now, now, everyone knows we're the evil ones,” Bonnie said. “But that's right. Why haven't we seen any copies of you around, Freddy?”

“Because they're down a security guard,” Freddy said.

\----------------

**5 am**

“Mind running that by me again,” Mike said. “Why would that--”, he stopped suddenly and stared down at the bodies. “Are you saying that...?”

“I'm guessing that if we were able to recognize their faces from the pile of goo they are now, we'd see that fake Bonnie, Chica and Foxy are probably the first three missing guards,” Freddy said.

“Makes sense,” Foxy mused. “No one's going to think it's the guys that swore they'd never come back here again. But why would they even come back and pull this shit in the first place?”

“Because I think their plan was simply to rob the place.”

“Actually, that fits,” Mike says. “Make it so no one with any experience wants to guard the place and the owner will have to settle for someone young and stupid. Or crazy.”

“Or you,” Bonnie pointed out. “Though I guess that falls under the crazy part.”

“Thanks,” Mike said, ducking when Bonnie winked at him. “So the reason we don't have fake Freddy is--”

“The fourth guard was supposed to do it,” Chica said. “Dumb luck that he had a heart attack.”

“That's right,” Freddy said. “So they're down a person on the night they picked to rob the place. But they can't wait any longer because the boss has just hired some weirdoes to look into the incidents and to make things worse, there's a new nosy security guard with some experience at the place.”

“And they're stupid enough that they don't know what we look like,” Bonnie said. “So they're not expecting to see themselves pop up at the pizzeria.”

Foxy grinned. “And they're definitely not expecting the stories to be true.”

“Still, that's a little disappointing,” Mike said. “I mean, out of all the possible supernatural and strange solutions, the answer is... robbery.”

“I've generally found,” Freddy said, “that almost all fantastical occurrences turn out to some skinless adult pretending he's one of us.”

“So sad,” Bonnie said. “If they really wanted to be us so badly, we could have helped them out.”

“Wait a minute,” Chica said. “You said you knew who was behind this. That means there's a fifth person involved who hasn't shown.”

“And he never will,” Freddy answered coolly. “Because Mr. Fazakas is not a man who gets his hands dirty.”

Foxy's eyes grew round. “You mean, he's the one who--”

“I'm willing to bet he has a grudge against Charles for taking over the pizzeria. It doesn't matter that it was failing, it doesn't matter that he was losing money left and right, it doesn't even matter that he caused--” Freddy's voice faltered. “That he caused so much to go wrong. What matters is that it was his and that he lost it. “

Chica shook her head. “I'd like to say you're wrong, but I can't. It makes total sense. He'd be able to give them costumes, let them know where we'd go, and even probably give them additional access to the building. At the very least, if he didn't get any money, he could ruin the pizzeria for anyone else.”

Freddy smiled bitterly. “He ruined it for me a long time ago.”

\---------

They spent the next 45 minutes cleaning up the place. Bonnie and Chica carried the bodies off (Mike decided he was better off not knowing where they were going to get disposed of), Foxy cleaned up the blood trails, and Freddy made a few judicious edits to the camera footage, consisting mostly of a number of  static at key moments. Mike tidied up what he could, picking up any stray bone and other matter he found with a pair of rubber gloves and a deep abiding suspicion about the rest of his life.

As the clock hit 6 a.m., they made their way to the front door.

“Once again, I leave this place with the sense that I should never come back to it,” Mike said, unlocking the door. “This time, I actually mean it.”

The bolt of electricity that struck them as they made their way out knocked them all back onto the floor.

\----------------

**6 am**

Mike twitched on the ground, his body convulsing in pain. Through the tears in his eyes, he could make out a gold figure standing in front of him. It was... a bear. It held a knife and some sort of sparking electrical thing.

Shit, he thought.

He tried to crane his neck to the left. He thought he could make out next to him, Bonnie also twitching on the ground. Get up, he tried to mouth, but nothing came out.

“Really,” said the voice from above him. “You'd think you'd have learned your lesson by now about messing with my property.”

Fazakas, he thought, and knew it to be true.

“I even did you a favor and fired you,” Fazakas said. “You could have had a normal life. You just had to keep your mouth shut and stay away, and you never would have gotten involved. Now, you're going to have to die.”

He tried to get up. You've been through worse, he thought. So much worse. This is nothing. But he couldn't make his muscles move. 

I'm sorry, he thought. I'm so sorry.

“And them,” Fazakas said, kicking at something Mike couldn't see. “I don't know how they did it, but now I'm down some very costly animatronics as well. It's going to take me forever to have them reprogrammed.” Another kick. “So much money wasted. At least I know I'll be able to get this place back dirt cheap from Charles. Once the press reads how he lost five security guards in a week here, he'll be begging me to take it back.”

Mike moistened his lips and managed to croak out, “Different.”

“What?”

“They're different,” he said. “People know who they are.”

Fazakas laughed. “What? Things in fur suits? I don't know if you check the news but nobody likes those things. They just pretend to put up with them. They'll be glad when these things are gone. Under my control, they'll be normal again.”

“They're normal already.”

“And that is why you have to go,” Fazakas said, raising the knife. “It's going to be bloody and messy and you could have avoided it, but you've spoiled my plans one too many times.”

From behind him, a voice murmured, “Isn't this where you say 'And I would have gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids?”

Foxy

Another voice to the left, “I think I prefer former animatronics now imbued with the power of vengeance.”

A voice to the right. “You could also say unholy abominations of magic and machine, if you wanted to be technical about it.”

Chica

“It doesn't really matter what we say,” said the last voice, directly over Mike. It bent down and Freddy's face came in view. “Since he'll be dead in less than ten seconds anyway.”

“What--” Fazakas stammered. “I shot you with enough electricity to take you offline for good. You shouldn't reset from that.”

“And if we were still robotic,” Chica said, mouths opening wide, “that might be a problem.”

“But we're not anymore,” Foxy grinned. “We're different now. Better.”

“And I don't really appreciate you going after my friends,” Bonnie said, smiling coldly. “Mike's ours. The only one who's ever going to kill him is us.”

Freddy nodded. “And he's too much fun for that to be any time soon.” He stepped forward.

“You, on the other hand--”

The rest was a blur of teeth and blood and by the time, Mike was able to get to his knees, Fazakas was an unrecognizable pile of body parts on the ground. Freddy reached out a bloody hand and helped him to his feet.

“We might want to leave soon,” Bonnie said. “I mean, I'm running out of places to dump bodies.

Chica added, “And I'm pretty full right now. I don't think I could eat another bite.”

“So are you coming with us?” Foxy asked.

It took four pairs of eyes staring at him expectantly to realize Foxy was addressing him. “You mean, go on the road with you guys?”

“The way I see it,” Freddy said, “You have two options. The first one: You can stay here. You probably won't get arrested for any of the disappearances, but I can't guarantee that if they dig up any body parts here, they won't start looking in your direction. Charles will probably keep you on as a guard, given you are one of the few left who didn't try to rob him or run away screaming. It has the chance to be a quiet, peaceful life as long as nothing from your past comes back. No promises on that one.

The second option is that you come with us. We will try to keep from killing people unless they deserve it. We will probably end up investigating crimes involving killer robots, murderous mascots, psychopathic puppets, or things pretending to be them. There may or may not be a great deal of violence involved and you may or may not participate in it. Though let's face it, we're really hoping you'll have a body count by the end. Bonnie will probably watch you in your sleep. And Foxy and Chica. And me. But you will never be bored and the only way anything will happen to you will be at our hands. ”

Freddie paused and stared intently at Mike. "But if you stay, you don't get to leave again. Ever. So be very careful about what you choose."

Mike thought about it. He remembered the nights of terror, of waiting until sunrise, hoping that the power could last just a few seconds longer until daybreak. He remembered checking the camera feverishly, always watching, knowing that if they were ever in the same room as him, he'd be dead.

He also remembered the aimless weeks that passed after he was fired, the sheer boredom that ensured and the little thrill he felt months later walking into the parking lot and realizing that he felt more alive at that moment than he had in quite some time.

In all honesty, it wasn't even that tough a choice.

“All right,” he said, “but I get to drive.”

Bonnie let out a cheer and hugged him (a little too tight, he thought, as his chest cracked a little), and Chica smiled. Foxy pouted for a little bit before tossing him the keys and Freddy just nodded.

“So where to, boss?” said Mike, as they made their way to the van. He opened the driver's side door and prepared to get in.

“Where else?” Freddy said, smiling.  “We're going to Disneyland.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by both my nostalgia for awesomely creepy animatronics (how I miss you Showbiz Pizza) and old school Scooby-Doo episodes. In both cases, I loved them deeply. 
> 
> I like to think that once the gang makes it to Disneyland, they uncover the horrible truth about It's A Small World (because you know that has some sort of dark magic powering it). They get chased by shambling robotic monstrosities, things get set on fire, and at some point, someone makes a crack about the happiest place on earth. 
> 
> And Foxy goes on Pirates of the Caribbean ten times in a row.


End file.
